The difference between men and women has long been a subject of debate and – more importantly – of humour…
NICKNAMES
If Laura Kate & Sarah got out for lunch, they call each other Laura, Kate and Sarah.
If Mike Dave and John go out for lunch, they call each other Fatboy, Dickhead and Shit-for-brains.
EATING OUT
When the bills arrives, Mike Dave & John will each throw on a $20 note (because they have othing smaller) even though the only $32.50
When Laura, Kate and Sarah get the bill, out come the pocket calculators,
BUDGETTING
A man will pay $2 for a $1 item that he needs.
A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn’t need…but it was on sale.
SOCIALISING
Women socialise by complimenting each other although they don’t really mean it.
Men socialise by insulting one another although the don’t really mean it.
MIRRORS
BATHROOM CABINET
A man has six bathroom items: toothbrush, toothpaste, shaving crean, razor, soap, towel.
A woman has 237 items only 20 of which a man could identify.
ARGUMENTS
A woman has the last word in EVERY argument.
Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.
MARRIAGE
A women marries a man expecting he will change…but he doesn’t.
A man marries a woman expecting she won’t change….but she does.
DRESSING UP
A woman will get dressed up to go shopping, water the plants empty the bins, answer the phone or read a book.
A man will get dressed up for weddings and funerals.
THE WARDROBE
PSYCHIC ABILITIES
A man cannot read minds.
A woman thinks she can read minds.
IN THE MORNING
A man will wake up looking as good as he did the previous night.
A woman will mysteriously deteriorate during the night.
THE OFFSPRING
A woman knows all about her children: dentist appointments, best friends, favourite foods, secret fears, hopes dreams and aspirations.
A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house..
THE INSTRUCTION MANUAL
A woman will read the manual and follow the instructions.
A man will read the manual after everything else has failed.
LANGUAGE
Elizabeth Nesbitts Blog 